Tell Me Why?

Why!? Why is life so insignificant to someone so young? This question keeps bugging my mind as I look through the BaZi Chart below.

Admittedly, life isn't really a fare share for everyone. There are parents who are struggling to put bread and butter on the table. Some children are seen begging over the corner of the street. Circumstances do not allow them to become normal and as carefree as they should be. There are people who have been duped and forced into vices. There are also people who are starving with little mean of food and even less health care. Life is uncertain for them. As they continue each day, no matter how tough the situation is, this people still struggle to survive, to live another day. I believe that in their little heart there is still hope for a better tomorrow. They understood that life is precious, to be valued and loved. No matter how hopeless and helpless each of them feels, this people would not give up on their life.

By now you must be wondering what the chart is all about. The girl name was Alyssa Bustamante born on 28 January 1994, hour of birth unknown. I may be able to read her BaZi but I will never understand the WHY? Maybe I'm not in her shoe and do not live her life. Like millions of American kids growing up today, Alyssa life was simple and in excess with opportunity abound. Teacher had described her as smart girl with good grades too. However, she had attempted several suicides since the age of 13, and was on anti-depressant medication under the care of her grandmother.

What was even more shocking was that on 21 October 2009, she had killed a 9 year old girl in a very chilling manner. Why killed the girl? Alyssa's only reply was "I wanted to know what it felt like".

If you looked at her BaZi chart, you will noticed that she had an extreme character due to the flourished wood, Jia Yin as well as the Ji earth inside the Chou Ox. There was a need to dominate and control others in her character. This character also stem from insecurity and needy on her part, found in a hidden combination between Yin Tiger [Jia Wood] and Chou Ox [Ji Earth]. The only element, metal, that can control the wood and weaken the earth was only found on the Year Branch. With such a strong Day Master, there was a need for an outlet of all the pent up energy in her. As I scan through the BaZi Chart, the only Output Star [Bing Fire] was only found in subsidiary Qi. This was an indication of difficulty in expression of her emotion and herself.

In the Luck Pillar Bing Yin whereby the Eating God Star [Bing Fire] and Friend Star [Yin Tiger] appeared, showed that she found some comfort in her friendship but this friendship doesn't really help her to heal. Instead it added on to her insecurity and needy natures that she desperately wanted to hide [hidden combination of Yin Tiger and Chou Ox again with her Luck Pillar]. This combination also indicated that a very strong need and wants of her parents to be around her but this was a part of her life that she do not feel confident and proud to speak about. Her mother had a history of substance abuse while his father was still serving several more years in prison because of assault charges. At the same instance, she was also jealous of the attention shower on her sibling by her grandparents indicated by the Rob Wealth Star [Yi Wood] was nearer to the Direct Resource Star [Gui Water]. The Grandmother Star should be represented the Geng Metal which could assert more influence on her, was missing instead only the Xin Metal was present. These showed her grandparents were rather strict and their relationship was not as close.

This Rob Wealth Star was also an indication of split personality. Where the Day Master was off strong character, the Rob Wealth Star proved to even problematic in her chart. It is an ugly side that she hardly showed to her friends. All her friends saw her as sociable, sweet and fun-loving. Everyone liked her in school. However, there are tell-tale sign her closed friend, Jennifer Meyer, noticed. According to her friend, Alyssa was always depressed and suicidal. She often spoke of death, suicidal and depression. Alyssa talked of desire killing during her birthday celebration was dismissed by her friend as another way of her to cry for attention. While in the internet, Alyssa listed several disturbing pieces of information about herself on various social network sites such as her MySpace profile where she claimed one of her hobbies was "Killing people." 

While all is said that the above chart does point toward a very extremist character, it does not necessary dictate a serial killer persona. There are BaZi charts that I had seen which much more dominant self element that turn out a better person in the society. Of course, they did have their fair shared of trouble.

When a person is suicidal usually they are crying for help. The same apply to Alyssa. The Output Star of the Stem of the Luck Pillar of Bing Yin and Ding Mao clearly showed a need, to be acknowledged, and a want, to be understood as well as accepted. When a person behaved in an unacceptable manner, this is because they actually felt different, alienated and unaccepted in the circle of friends or society. It was very horrible that the crying had to turn so ugly. It was very cruel and callous of Alyssa in her act of killing. It was even sadder that one has so less self-worth and, can even be so cruel to her own self. When you can't even love yourself and valued your own life, it is hard to find the generosity in your heart to be humane to others.

It was reported that Alyssa tried to commit suicide by cutting herself with her fingernails after her arrest for Olten's murder. The year 2009 was a Ji Chou year and she was in her Luck Pillar of Ding Mao. The Mao Rabbit already clashed with the You Rooster which contained Xin Metal. It was the most important element on her BaZi chart. Xin Metal represented her Direct Officer Star. The Star usually governed discipline, act of justice and to be law abiding in a person. The Ji Chou year completely buried the Xin Metal together with her sense of justice and righteousness to differentiate what was right and wrong. It was left with a feeling of victimization [Ji Chou, Ji Earth element control by Jia Wood] on others as well as on herself.

The case may be argued as homicide under the condition of mental instability. However, I see an intelligent girl that need to learn a lesson of being responsible of one own action taken and bear the consequences for the better or for the worst.

It is because of so little sense love and thought for our own self that sometimes we do not see the love around us that we so desperately seek. We need to love ourselves more before we can fully give love to others and appreciate love in return.