Saturday, March 20, 2010

Betrayal And Ungratefulness

What does ungratefulness mean? A quick check with the dictionary resulted with the following meaning:

"not feeling or exhibiting gratitude, thanks, or appreciation. This feeling always arise when you have done something for someone but the things you have done is not appreciated or not being credited. Sometimes, it may come with the feeling of betrayal or being short change as well."

The following is a real story that actually happened to one of my best friend.

It was like a soap drama come to life. My best friend, Angel, even jokingly says, "The movie industry stole her copyright". Yes, it had been awhile. Now she has been able to laugh and joke on a certain thing or past situation in her life but the anger and hurt is still lurking in her. Sometimes in a tiny little moment or a flip second, I can see and feel her anger resurface.

Angel and Pussycat was the best of friend since college. To Angel, Pussycat was the best buddy, and their friendship had been 13 years long. It would have last for a lifetime but this was not meant to be. All was well till she married her husband, Bob, and had her elder son.

At the time, Pussycat just broke-off with her boy friend. Out of sympathy and afraid that Pussycat would feel lonely, Angel invited Pussycat along whenever she had any celebration or outing with Bob. At the same point in Angel's life, she faced a lot of problem with her husband. They were constantly arguing on the household and financial matter. Angel's relationship with Bob's family was tensed as well.

As time passes, Pussycat seemed to get closer to Bob. It started in 2004, Jia Shen year, with Pussycat encouraging Bob to try out the new gym around Cheras as they lived in the same vicinity of each other. Angel's relationship with her husband seemed to improve for awhile after he joined the gym.

Angel did have her doubt and suspicious on her friend, Pussycat, and her husband, Bob, but she do not voice out the matter. At one point, even Angel's mother commented that Pussycat and Bob looked like loving couple more than anyone else, and warned her to be careful of Pussycat. On her birthday in 2005 celebration with her husband, Pussycat sent a love song to Bob. All this and other tell tale signs were noted by Angel, but she would rather not bring out the matter to her husband as their relationship was already in a shaky ground.

Angel chanced upon their affair after a short separation with her husband due to a big argument. Her son also mentioned to her that he saw aunty Pussycat with his father in compromised situation. At this point, Angel already pregnant with a second child had asked Bob what was his decision in regard to their relationship. But no answer was given and no action taken by Bob. In Angel's heart, she still hoped that there was a chance for reconciliation but Pussycat involvement dashed the hope away. Angel know that although her separation with Bob was not entirely due to Pussycat's fault but by being there, Pussycat had caused more complication to her already troubled relationship. This situation dragged on about a year, and one day Angel who was now leaving separately from her husband received a divorce letter from a lawyer which Angel had already foreseen it might came to this.

Although she did not confront her friend's affair with her husband, their friendship slowly come to a silent death. Shortly after their divorced, her friend married her ex-husband. Friends who know both of them were not invited to the wedding. Wedding photos posted into the internet social website only showed Pussycat in wedding gown. No groom was in sight.

Every now and then, Angel finds way to eardrop into her ex-husband and ex-buddy life. Angel found out recently that Pussycat gave birth to a child last year and she seemed to face the same problems faced by herself previously. Pussycat also lamented that her son is less precious compare to other people children, implying that her husband loves Angel's sons more. All this was heard with glee in my friend's heart. Angel is waiting for their downfall which I hope that she will grows out of it and starts a new. She is a strong lady with a survival instinct.

You might wonder (or might not) have Angel loss the loving feeling for her husband that she once had. I think not since she still pays attention to what happen with her ex-husband's life. She just don't have the energies and the generosity to love him more when harsh realities of life became a baggage and bugged both of them down. When situation was tough, everyone wanted to protect their own interest and put priority on their own comfort and need first. The fiber emotion of love does not dwindle but the baggage of problems became a giant snowball that overwhelmed everyone's senses. It made everyone loose sight of the love they once had been.

My advice to my friend, "Since she is already come to this path, it is better to let go of the pass and look forward to the future. Things which may seem critical and significant at this point may not be so as time move on."

For the BaZi enthusiasts, the following are Angel and Pussycat's BaZi Charts.

  • Angel met the ungrateful punishment in the year 2004, Jia Shen year, form by the Si Snake (Day Branch)-Shen Monkey (Annual Pillar)-Yin Tiger (Year Branch). At the same time, her luck cycle was changing to the Ren Shen Pillar as well. The Cosmic Qi does not change instantly as the 10-Year Luck Pillar changed according to the age. Usually the Qi of the changing luck cycle will slowly begin to move in two year ahead of the actual Luck Pillar (LP).
  • Thus, Angel already experienced the full ungrateful punishment in the year 2004 which will last till the Ren Shen LP. It was an external punishment indicating that she was treated unfairly by others. The Gui You LP also indicating a third party problem whereby the Friend Star appeared on the stem and the You Rooster on the branch of the LP combined with the Chen Dragon on the Hour Pillar in the natal chart, Angel's Direct Officer Star which represents her husband star in the natal chart.
  • Pussycat's BaZi Chart already has the full ungrateful punishment [Si Snake (Day Branch)-Shen Monkey (Month Branch)-Yin Tiger (Year Branch)]. Those who have the ungrateful punishment at the BaZi usually see themselves as the victim. They always feel being short changed and no one appreciated what they have done. This also because they naturally attract people who are ungrateful and selfish around them. As you know, "Birds of a feather flock together". They may appear jolly and cheery [effect of the Growth Star, Si, Shen and Yin] but their view of life or people are actually quite pessimistic. In actual fact they can be and likely ungrateful themselves too. In Pussycat's natal chart the Ren Water which is the Rob Wealth are just next to her Day Master indicating she is competitive in nature and tend to be jealous and envious of others' good fortune. Since people with this punishment always feel victimize, they have no qualm doing the same to others.
  • BaZi is about doing the right thing at the right time. Whether your view of her action is the right thing to do or not, in accordance to her chart this was the event enfolded. In the year 2004, the Shen Monkey, Si Snake at the LP of 24 and the Yin Tiger in her natal chart formed the ungrateful punishment externally. At the LP of the 24, the Seven Killings Star appeared. The Star represents a boyfriend star and it can represent a mean streak as well. A vindictive action, Pussycat who had broke-off with her boyfriend intend to get back one even if it was her friend's husband.
  • At the same time, Pussycat's luck cycle was slowly changing into the LP of 34 which was the Direct Officer Star. It was an indication that her action at the current LP will likely land her a future husband.
  • The affair took place in 2005, Yi You year. The Yi You Pillar was always related to betrayal sign.
  • Angel officially separated with Bob in 2006, Bing Xu year. The Xu Dog clashed with Chen Dragon on the hour branch in Angel's natal chart. The Chen Dragon represents the Direct Officer Star which is also the husband star.
Looking at Angel and Pussycat's Natal chart, you would have noticed that both of them had the same Day Pillar of Gui Si and Year Pillar of Jia Yin. Although Bob may have married twice, technically speaking he had married to the same person. Angel and Pussycat both shared the same Day Pillar of Gui Si with the Hurting Officer Star at the Year Pillar of Geng Yin. This means that both Angel and Pussycat have the almost similar core value and traits.

In short, Bob is… eh! hem! foolish, dump, naïve, stupid, unwise, you name it, because he was before, and is now married, to the same old issues and problems. From Angel and Pussycat's natal charts, he seems to be attracted to women who have similar traits and characters. I guess there is no easy way out in life. You just have to learn the lessons of life with this or that person.

Josephine

31 comments:

Anonymous said...

hi,
it's me again, imhv first one must understand the natal chart fully or partly depends on the practitioner knowledge.since you touch on the relationship topic, one must focus on the spouse star and spouse palace which is 'yin' and 'yang'.understand what the star and palace tell/resemble.
for some time, i hope to witness some reading done by JY or at least by some of his students and i got this chance in this wonderful blog.thank you

Josephine said...

Hi,
I'm glad you like and find this blog useful. I'm not sure who you are, and I would be grateful and happy if you leave a name or even a nickname here so at least I know where you have comments on my posts. I know you must be regular reader of my blog, I hope to get to know you.

Sometimes, it is not just the spouse palace or the spouse star that can tell you there is a problem in the relationship. Referring to the two Bazi charts, you can see the Hurting Officer Star in the Year Pillar. Furthermore it is a pure Qi from Heaven to Earth, from this information alone it can let you know that relationship wise with spouse/boyfriend is not a smooth sailing one.

BaZi is a vast subject to studies. There is always a new discovery from every BaZi Chart I come across. So I guess it is never ending learning process. Knowledge and experience help a lot in deciphering a Bazi Chart.

If you like to see some of my sifu (JY)reading, you can always go to his facebook fan page. Here is one article I like best, http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=206227741083. It is about a business failure.

Cheers

Anonymous said...

hi, good morning
i don't quite agree with you on the hurting officer matter.i notice most ( not all ) practitioners/masters like to put the blame on the hurt officer esp when it was situated on the spouse palace.for my knowledge, first one need to know if the hurting officer is useful or not or being 'poh'.take the angel case for example,the hurting officer was in winter with fire to warm it, so it means this lady thinking/brain is reasonable, able to understand spouse.you can check it out with her.as for pussycat, not comment cos it's a 3 pillar case.as for why i insists on analysis the spouse star and palace first cos spouse star and palace give different meaning of analysis and what kind of spouse/bf one like to meet in her journey of life and most likely outcome.bazi is not 1=1 or 1+1=1.
Guess your sifu teaching is different from mine.
If you are interested, here is one real life bazi chart of business failure too, hour-wu yin,day-geng xu, month wu yin, year-yi mei.a male going thru LP ren shen

Josephine said...

Do not agree with you on the HO part when you explain the relationship of Angel. The HO is more useful on her work (like what you have explained) rather than in relationship matter. In fact the HO Star actually post many relationship problems for her. You may one to check what is the HO features or characters that likely cause a relationship problem.

Of course the spouse palace as well as spouse star also play an important role.

As for the BaZi you have mentioned, it is very similar to the one that I put the link on my Sifu page. The DM flanked by two Resource Stars further sitting on another Resource Star. I do not wish to further elaborate. If you have check-out the link then you know why this person fail in business.

I believe that we cannot change the events that are likely to come but with the right action & mind set we can change the outcome. Hence, it is important that we must be aware of our own weakness.

By the way, how should I address you properly? You still want to remain anonymous like those ppl in my articles I posted recently. Shall I give you a nickname then?

Cheers

FY said...

Hi Jo

Since we r on the subject of women with strong hurting officers still, might it be interesting to also put up the chart if the husband - men who advertantly get attracted to them.. But in the end everybody suffers in their relationship. Can't be that it is always the strong hurting officer woman's fault, right? :)

Josephine said...

Hi FY,
Nope, I didn't says it is all the women fault. The husband had to bear responsibility as well. When it come to relationship, both had to be responsible. Yes, you are right. Everyone suffered in the end. I have the husband chart but lazy to comment on him. :) He has a clash between the day branch and month branch.

Cheers

FY said...

Oh, I did not mean to imply that you had said that it is "all the women fault", sorry if my poor choice of words made you think so.

When writing that it just occurred to me that your previous and current articles both contains women who have strong HO and were/are having some sort of relationship problems... and the previous commentor did say that "(most) practioners like to put the blame on the HO...". So I was just thinking that it might be interesting to have a look at the stuff going on in the other chart too, to see why this would have happened in the first place.

Ah-hem. Don't know why I feel the need to be explaining myself this much today... maybe it's a clash to my day pillar. :P

Shall stop here and wish you a good evening there.

Cheers

Anonymous said...

hi,
don't be frighten/scare when there is a clash in your bazi.there can be good and bad outcome due to it, depending on which angle one is looking at it.
hey Jo, okok gimme a nickname then.

Cheers

Josephine said...

Hi,

No need to apologize. No offense taken. :) I didn’t even realize that they are both HO in my two articles until you mentioned it. Do agree with you that a clash can have many different angles to look at it. Some people just sell off their property during a clash. Some leave home and work oversea. So not worry at all.

By the way, are you the one who post the last comments on my previous article? I still did not understand what you mean on the last two paragraphs.

Give you a nickname. Hmn! Shall I call you Misty (Misty = Mysterious) Boy or Girl. :P

Cheers

Anonymous said...

Hi,

Yes, i'm the one who posted the comments on your previous article.Forget about it, it's not important don't think too much about it.

Cheers
Misty

Tracy said...

Haha. Hi Jo,

It seems that there is a whole new story in the comment section on this article. Very amusing.

I'm not a good bazi reader nor do I practice. But I did notice on your friend's Angel chart that the ungrateful punishment of Shen also gives combination to Dragon+Rat+Shen = Water. Not sure what to make of it or meaning but it stuck out at me.

I really enjoyed your article. Both aspects, the cheating and ungrateful punishment.

I agree with FY, the fault doesn't weigh heavily on either side. Cheating is a choice. If Bob was unhappy he should have been upfront with Angel.

I hope your friend is okay. And for her to move on, good for her.

Josephine said...

Hi Tracy,
Good to hear from you.
The Shen+Zi+Chen combi actually show the the love triangle between her friend (Zi), husband (Chen) and her comfort level (Shen). Additional water in her chart was a competition.

Yes, I also agree with FY.

I think she is slowly moving on with her life.

Cheers

leegiat 理解 said...

Ha-ha, Mr. Gui water? So it will be for dear anonymous....

I m getting to enjoy myself with the good humour rubbing here.

Anyway, there is no right or wrong as in the Ying and Yang.

Cheers.

leegiat 理解 said...

Of course, forgot to say my opinion subject to objections, ha-ha....

Again,

Cheers : )

Josephine said...

Hi Leegiat,

This is getting weird. May I know who is Mr Gui Water? :P

Cheers

leegiat 理解 said...

Hi Jo,

Does'nt Gui, the misterious like to shroud Bing.

Cheers.

Going to bed after surfing, can be quite tiring, right?

leegiat 理解 said...

Oops, I means catch up with u folks 2morow.

Cheers.
: )

Josephine said...

Hi Leegiat,
Yeah, Mr Gui or may be is a Ms Gui is pretty mysterious. That's why I give the nickname Misty.

Cheers

leegiat 理解 said...

Hi Jo,

True, true.....

Ah Misty, reminds me of those fairies...

Must be a beautiful one if, ha-ha...

Anyway, I always enjoy myself visiting your blog.

Cheers.

Josephine said...

Leegiat,

Thank you! :) ^-^

Anonymous said...

hi
can you tell me if angel is a strong water person?
the chart reveal a rich person,if yes how should I read this

Josephine said...

Yes,she has a strong DM. She is not rich yet but she deals with a lot of big contracts that are over millions.

Cheers

Anonymous said...

Hi,
Is Angel not sitting on 3 precious which mean status, power & wealth? Is her husband someone who has all 3 or is it her? Wouldn't her husband lose all the 3 when he leaves her?

Anonymous said...

Betrayal & ungratefulness is a hot topic amongst all of us.
1)If there is a friend star in the stem of spouse palace - does this indicate that your spouse will have an affair with your friend? +7K on month branch?

Josephine said...

Hi,
I am not sure how you derive the 3 precious. Angel at the moment does not have that yet.

Friend star in the stem of spouse palace (+7K on mth branch): Not necessary is a your friend & not necessary there is an affair either. We have to look at the whole chart and the Luck Pillar to determine.

Anonymous said...

How do you define between Angel being rich or just being surrounded by money. When will she be rich - when she goes through fire luck?

Anonymous said...

What indicates sitting on 3 precious then. I assume the Day pillar stem is the 3 precious. Sorry I understand wrongly.

Josephine said...

3 precious = DO, DW & DR

Anonymous said...

Thanks, Josephine. DO, DW & DR has to be in 3 different pillars? Not all 3 in her stem pillar.

Josephine said...

If you have the 3 precious anywhere in the BaZi is good provide it is not in conflict or confusion with other 10 Gods

Anonymous said...

Hi,
I understand wrongly. So the Gods are not exactly the 3 precious as in Angel's case in her spouse pillar. It has to be in the different pillars