Betrayal And Ungratefulness

What does ungratefulness mean? A quick check with the dictionary resulted with the following meaning:

"not feeling or exhibiting gratitude, thanks, or appreciation. This feeling always arise when you have done something for someone but the things you have done is not appreciated or not being credited. Sometimes, it may come with the feeling of betrayal or being short change as well."

The following is a real story that actually happened to one of my best friend.

It was like a soap drama come to life. My best friend, Angel, even jokingly says, "The movie industry stole her copyright". Yes, it had been awhile. Now she has been able to laugh and joke on a certain thing or past situation in her life but the anger and hurt is still lurking in her. Sometimes in a tiny little moment or a flip second, I can see and feel her anger resurface.

Angel and Pussycat was the best of friend since college. To Angel, Pussycat was the best buddy, and their friendship had been 13 years long. It would have last for a lifetime but this was not meant to be. All was well till she married her husband, Bob, and had her elder son.

At the time, Pussycat just broke-off with her boy friend. Out of sympathy and afraid that Pussycat would feel lonely, Angel invited Pussycat along whenever she had any celebration or outing with Bob. At the same point in Angel's life, she faced a lot of problem with her husband. They were constantly arguing on the household and financial matter. Angel's relationship with Bob's family was tensed as well.

As time passes, Pussycat seemed to get closer to Bob. It started in 2004, Jia Shen year, with Pussycat encouraging Bob to try out the new gym around Cheras as they lived in the same vicinity of each other. Angel's relationship with her husband seemed to improve for awhile after he joined the gym.

Angel did have her doubt and suspicious on her friend, Pussycat, and her husband, Bob, but she do not voice out the matter. At one point, even Angel's mother commented that Pussycat and Bob looked like loving couple more than anyone else, and warned her to be careful of Pussycat. On her birthday in 2005 celebration with her husband, Pussycat sent a love song to Bob. All this and other tell tale signs were noted by Angel, but she would rather not bring out the matter to her husband as their relationship was already in a shaky ground.

Angel chanced upon their affair after a short separation with her husband due to a big argument. Her son also mentioned to her that he saw aunty Pussycat with his father in compromised situation. At this point, Angel already pregnant with a second child had asked Bob what was his decision in regard to their relationship. But no answer was given and no action taken by Bob. In Angel's heart, she still hoped that there was a chance for reconciliation but Pussycat involvement dashed the hope away. Angel know that although her separation with Bob was not entirely due to Pussycat's fault but by being there, Pussycat had caused more complication to her already troubled relationship. This situation dragged on about a year, and one day Angel who was now leaving separately from her husband received a divorce letter from a lawyer which Angel had already foreseen it might came to this.

Although she did not confront her friend's affair with her husband, their friendship slowly come to a silent death. Shortly after their divorced, her friend married her ex-husband. Friends who know both of them were not invited to the wedding. Wedding photos posted into the internet social website only showed Pussycat in wedding gown. No groom was in sight.

Every now and then, Angel finds way to eardrop into her ex-husband and ex-buddy life. Angel found out recently that Pussycat gave birth to a child last year and she seemed to face the same problems faced by herself previously. Pussycat also lamented that her son is less precious compare to other people children, implying that her husband loves Angel's sons more. All this was heard with glee in my friend's heart. Angel is waiting for their downfall which I hope that she will grows out of it and starts a new. She is a strong lady with a survival instinct.

You might wonder (or might not) have Angel loss the loving feeling for her husband that she once had. I think not since she still pays attention to what happen with her ex-husband's life. She just don't have the energies and the generosity to love him more when harsh realities of life became a baggage and bugged both of them down. When situation was tough, everyone wanted to protect their own interest and put priority on their own comfort and need first. The fiber emotion of love does not dwindle but the baggage of problems became a giant snowball that overwhelmed everyone's senses. It made everyone loose sight of the love they once had been.

My advice to my friend, "Since she is already come to this path, it is better to let go of the pass and look forward to the future. Things which may seem critical and significant at this point may not be so as time move on."

For the BaZi enthusiasts, the following are Angel and Pussycat's BaZi Charts.

• Angel met the ungrateful punishment in the year 2004, Jia Shen year, form by the Si Snake (Day Branch)-Shen Monkey (Annual Pillar)-Yin Tiger (Year Branch). At the same time, her luck cycle was changing to the Ren Shen Pillar as well. The Cosmic Qi does not change instantly as the 10-Year Luck Pillar changed according to the age. Usually the Qi of the changing luck cycle will slowly begin to move in two year ahead of the actual Luck Pillar (LP).

• Thus, Angel already experienced the full ungrateful punishment in the year 2004 which will last till the Ren Shen LP. It was an external punishment indicating that she was treated unfairly by others. The Gui You LP also indicating a third party problem whereby the Friend Star appeared on the stem and the You Rooster on the branch of the LP combined with the Chen Dragon on the Hour Pillar in the natal chart, Angel's Direct Officer Star which represents her husband star in the natal chart.

• Pussycat's BaZi Chart already has the full ungrateful punishment [Si Snake (Day Branch)-Shen Monkey (Month Branch)-Yin Tiger (Year Branch)]. Those who have the ungrateful punishment at the BaZi usually see themselves as the victim. They always feel being short changed and no one appreciated what they have done. This also because they naturally attract people who are ungrateful and selfish around them. As you know, "Birds of a feather flock together". They may appear jolly and cheery [effect of the Growth Star, Si, Shen and Yin] but their view of life or people are actually quite pessimistic. In actual fact they can be and likely ungrateful themselves too. In Pussycat's natal chart the Ren Water which is the Rob Wealth are just next to her Day Master indicating she is competitive in nature and tend to be jealous and envious of others' good fortune. Since people with this punishment always feel victimize, they have no qualm doing the same to others.

• BaZi is about doing the right thing at the right time. Whether your view of her action is the right thing to do or not, in accordance to her chart this was the event enfolded. In the year 2004, the Shen Monkey, Si Snake at the LP of 24 and the Yin Tiger in her natal chart formed the ungrateful punishment externally. At the LP of the 24, the Seven Killings Star appeared. The Star represents a boyfriend star and it can represent a mean streak as well. A vindictive action, Pussycat who had broke-off with her boyfriend intend to get back one even if it was her friend's husband.

• At the same time, Pussycat's luck cycle was slowly changing into the LP of 34 which was the Direct Officer Star. It was an indication that her action at the current LP will likely land her a future husband.

• The affair took place in 2005, Yi You year. The Yi You Pillar was always related to betrayal sign.

• Angel officially separated with Bob in 2006, Bing Xu year. The Xu Dog clashed with Chen Dragon on the hour branch in Angel's natal chart. The Chen Dragon represents the Direct Officer Star which is also the husband star.

Looking at Angel and Pussycat's Natal chart, you would have noticed that both of them had the same Day Pillar of Gui Si and Year Pillar of Jia Yin. Although Bob may have married twice, technically speaking he had married to the same person. Angel and Pussycat both shared the same Day Pillar of Gui Si with the Hurting Officer Star at the Year Pillar of Geng Yin. This means that both Angel and Pussycat have the almost similar core value and traits.

In short, Bob is… eh! hem! foolish, dump, naïve, stupid, unwise, you name it, because he was before, and is now married, to the same old issues and problems. From Angel and Pussycat's natal charts, he seems to be attracted to women who have similar traits and characters. I guess there is no easy way out in life. You just have to learn the lessons of life with this or that person.

BaZi-ing the unknown Age Factor

BaZi is like a map of a person life. It is able to reveal the major events that happen to a person life as well as the person characteristic. So if a person hides his birthdate or age by giving says may be a different year, are you able to find out? Yes, possible.

Public figures, such as celebrities, politicians, corporate figures and leaders amongst others, have a tendency to maintain a strict privacy over their life for many reasons, e.g. safety, personal space and the impact on their life amongst others. Among the others, the celebrities have the most tendencies to hide their ages especially the Asian's celeb. This is because their age directly impacts their marketability.

Photo from the Star newspaper

The following is real life story which has been related to me through a good friend of mine. The name has been change to keep the person identity anonymous.

This story happened to Jack. Jack is my friend's friend. You might question how true is this story? Well! I can only say, "It is very true to those who are involved whereas for readers like you or kehpoci like me, it is just another story."

Jack met a lady, Andrea, who came from oversea more than 10 years ago in a local joint pub. At that point of time, he did not know who she was because she was not well-known yet in the entertainment industry. It seems that Andrea left the country so as to avoid her creditors to which she owed a large amount of debts. At the same time, she was offered a job in the local entertainment industry at her new place and it was at this time that romance blossomed between the both of them and one thing let to another, Andrea had settled comfortably in her new adopted country. To be exact it was in the Bing Zi year that she came here. She gradually earned a name for herself in her career too. In the mean time, Jack helped her settle a large sum of her debts. Subsequently, both of them registered for marriage and stayed together for 10 years. Their marriage was never acknowledged by Andrea in public and Jack was always introduced as a friend within her social circle. After 10 years of living together, Andrea left Jack, citing that he was not as successful as she expected him to be and for maintaining in his comfort zone without having the incentive to enhance himself. Naturally, Jack felt betrayed, heart broken and viewed her actions as being ungrateful. However, it always takes two to make a relationship work or not work and to be fair, we do not know her side of the story.

What is interesting here is Andrea's age. According to Jack, Andrea is one or two years younger than my friend, which would mean she was either born in the Hai Pig or Zi Rat year. However, to the members of the public, she was born in the Yin Tiger year. Looking at both the natal charts for the Hai Pig and Zi Rat year, the Hai Pig year seemed to have more similarities with her life experiences as there is a clash between the year and the month branches in this natal chart. This clash is an indication that the person will leave his or her home country and move abroad. If my deduction is correct and if she was indeed born in the Hai Pig year, there seemed to be a three years gap between her disclosed age and her actual age. Three years may not seem a lot to some, that is if you can maintain your good looks.

In the study of Chinese Metaphysics, there is this affinity, "Yuan", which cannot be measured or quantified but must be taken into consideration. The affinity can be related to the Law of Attraction, Law of the Universe or the Cosmic Qi, whatever you name it. At the point where Andrea publicly disclosed her new birthdate, she has a new affinity with this new birthdate, which may or may not reflect some features of her life experiences. Furthermore, theoretically speaking, this new birthdate should have some similarity with her actual birthdate as well. So the question is, how far does her new birthdate accurately reflects a her life? Or does it reflects anything at all?

Below are Andrea's two natal charts.

Comparison of Natal Chart A and B

1. Chart A has a gregarious and extrovert nature [Ren Water Day Master, Rob Wealth (RW) and 7 Killings (7K) Stars] while Chart B may seem charming (RW, 7K) but tend to be quieter [Earth Day Master and Eating God (EG)] in nature. Chart A is a performer and entertainer [Hurting Officer (HO) Star on the Hour Branch] whereas Chart B likes to work behind the scene (EG). Both charts reflects very talented individuals and are popular with guys. Chart A's talent comes from building an image, an icon and branding [Ren Chen Pillar (RCP)]. Chart B's talent is more artistic in nature [Wu Shen Pillar (WSP)]. Chart A reflects a shrewd and materialistic businesswoman [RCP and Indirect Wealth (IW) Structure] while Chart B reflects a street smart person (7K) but is idealistic yet a dreamer [Indirect Resource (IR) and Friend (F) Structure]. Chart A can be a drama Queen [HO and 7K, further more is a harm relationship, Mao Rabbit with Chen Dragon] whereas Chart B may bend towards eccentricity (IR). HO also tends to be more lean physically while EG goes to the plumpish side.
   

   In an interview with an e-magazine in 2009, Andrea described herself as a warrior in everyway, from personal relationships, family to work [RCP, a Fui Gong Pillar and also considered a Warrior Pillar]. She is a true warrior indeed, if she is born on the Ren Chen Day Pillar.
   

2. Both natal chart A and B have the Travelling Stars on the Month (M) and Year (Y) Branches [Chart A: Si Snake (M), Hai Pig (Y) and Chart B: Si Snake (M), Tiger (Y)] which is an indication of some travels or movement in the earlier year of her life.
   

   Chart A:
   

   The clash between the Si Snake and the Hai Pig was a clear indication that she left her home country and moved abroad. The clash was also an indication of some trouble related to money [IW in the Si Snake (M)] and friends [Friend Star in Hai Pig (Y)]. In an interview with a well-known newspaper, she mentioned that she was offered a job in the entertainment business in the Bing Zi year. According to Chart A, her age at that time would be 25 and falls within the Luck Pillar (LP) of 20. If you look into her 10-Year LP, the 3 combinations [Hai Pig (F) + Mao Rabbit (HO) + Wei Goat [Direct Officer (DO)] = Wood] formed her output element, which is an indication that she was offered the job through networking. The stem on the LP also shows the HO, which is again her Output Star, and is related to showmanship and performance, which accurately describes the job offered to her. In the Bing Zi year, Bing was her IW Star and Gui inside the Zi was the RW Star, showing that the job she accepted helped her to garner some fame while increasing her income. Her career would not take-off until after 30 as the Yi Wei Luck Pillar was in Death and Emptiness, which was an indication that her work had mediocre result. Relationship wise also did not fair so well too.
   

   Chart B:
   

   Si Snake (M) and Yin Tiger (Y) is a harm relationship. It involved the IR in Si Snake and the 7K in Yin Tiger. The Yin Tiger was also in Death and Emptiness (DE) which was an indication that she would leaved her home between the ages of 1 to 16 on the LP of 10 (Ding Mao, Mao Rabbit was also a DE) due to a guy or troubles with the law or institution. This would have caused a lot of sadness and headache to her parents. LP of 20 also showed the same situation although with now she had a more daring and rebellious attitude. The LP does not show any possibility of a job offer. The Bing Zi year which was in the LP 20, Bing (IR) and Zi [Direct Wealth (DW)] showed that a steady income was earned from creative and unconventional ideas or activities.
   

3. Relation of the above's discussion to my friend's story…
   

   Both charts did indicate the meeting of a guy in their life. While Chart A indicated that this happened through socializing [Hai Pig (F) + Mao Rabbit (HO) + Wei Goat (DO)], Chart B indicates that this happened through travelling during a job assignment [Shen Monkey (EG) and Yin Tiger (7K)].
   

   Chart A indicated money troubles while Chart B did not. Chart B was more of a relationship problem.
   

   Chart A which had the 3 Combination indicated a contract was formed. It can be a job contract as well as a marriage registration (DO was involved). My guesstimate is that she most likely registered the marriage in the Ding Chou year and broke-up in the Bing Xu year. Natal Chart A had a harm relationship between Mao Rabbit (HO) and Chen Dragon (7K). In addition to this, there was no DO in her chart. This shows that her career was her main priority in life and she would likely refrain from acknowledging her husband's identity amongst her social life because it may affect her career. In her chart, her earning power comes from the RW and 7K Stars, which both stars indicates help or deal that are likely come from the opposite sex. In the field of entertainment, this does not bode well for her if the marriage was revealed.
   

   Chart B involves a more complicated relationship. If she was married during the LP of 20, which was not conducive at all to any form of partnership or relationship, she was likely to be involved in an extramarital affair. In this case, she was married to one person and is at the same time in love with another [Mao Rabbit and Shen Monkey hidden combo]. Chart B also have the ungrateful punishment [Yin Tiger+Si Snake+Shen Monkey]. People with this kind of punishment are always pessimistic and always feel short change by others. They always feel that people are not grateful to the deeds that they have done. It is because of this that they also have no qualms in doing the same thing to others. Don't be fool by the people who has this punishment. They always look cheerful and happy outside because the Yin Tiger, Si Snake and Shen Monkey are the Growth Stars. The Growth Star represents youthfulness, bountiful of energetic energy and cheerfulness. Hence, you may say that the punishment reflects Andrea's action to Jack.
   

Verdict:

You cannot really lie about your date of birth especially to a BaZi consultant. Generally if we (Bazi consultants) know your life story, we can relate it to your BaZi chart with some careful analysis. If you disclosed a fake birthdate, it may contain some features that reflect yourself at that point of time because of the affinity formed at that moment. But if we were to study the history of the person more carefully, then the fake BaZi chart just flops.

However, there are exceptional cases like orphans who do not know their birthdate. They have to use the date given to them, it may be the date registered in the birth certificate which is much later than the actual birthday. Then this affinity formed with the given date is stronger because it is used for lifetime. Unlike celebrities, these people will not change their date of birth out of whim or for a more materialistic purpose. Then I would say, "Yes, this given date will likely be a better reflection of the person in term of characteristics and events in the person's life.